The Process

Friday November 11, 2005 A Holy Discontent
"Religion that God our Father accepts is pure and faultless in this: to look after opphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Matt and I went to the movie Oliver Twist. It was so painful for me to watch. I physically hurt while watching it. I am so torn up by the suffering of the children. I am bothered by the way the most vulnerable were exploited and taken advantage of. The movie ended and I could not dismiss it as a movie. There was too much reality. It was awful for orphans then and I feel in many ways it is worse now. Faces of children I cared for in Brazil, Tibet, and Nepal were playing through my mind as I looked out the window at the pure glistening snow on our drive home. Where are they now? Is someone caring for them? People come and go some loving and some evil- they are at their mercy. But God you are a God who executes justice for the orphan. The man that harms a little one will answer to you. God I want to be a part of your plan to rescue those you love. My life is yours. I could not talk, only pray to myself. Matt was quiet I knew he was thinking. He spoke first. He said that injustice rips him up inside he can’t stand it to hear about exploited children anymore without doing something. He told me about what he heard today on Focus on the Family about the Sudan, and Northern Uganda. So many children orphaned, starving and being exploited.
He told me he wants to adopt a child who is older child who would not be adopted. But with little children he felt that would not be wise. He said all I can think is we get a young child and then one more is spared from the pain and is safe with a mommy and papa. I want them to know Gods love so much is what Matt told me. When we got home tonight we sat in the car a long time, praying, quiet, and few words said to each other. I did not want the kids to see me, when I cry my eyes get all puffy and swell. I don’t know what happened tonight, but my spirit was deeply moved and I must pray. God speak to my heart show me what to do. I will pray for the children Father, I know you love them so much. Your heart must break over the sin of this world.


Sunday December 11th 2005- The Night God Spoke through our son:
It was a quiet evening last night. I have been sick with a fever so everything was very low key in our home. The TV got turned on by Remi, Matt and I were sitting on the couch; Dominic and Cecilia were playing blocks. The show that came on caught Dominic’s attention in such a strong way. It was a show on the plight of children in
Africa. They showed images of children with flies crawling on them, with bloated bellies as they waited in lines for food. They were telling the story of an orphan that was all alone in the world. Dominic was an inches from the screen turning his head side to side.
When he turned around he had the most grieved pained expression on his face. He crawled up on Matt’s lap. He said with so much confusion and wrinkled up eyes “babies hungry, have no food, babies have no mama no papa? WHY? Before Matt could explain something with no real answer- He looked straight at Matt and put his finger into his chest- “you papa” then he looked at me pushed his little pointer finger into my chest “you momma-BRING BABY HOME.” Matt and I were both humbled and quiet for a long time, but we both knew at that moment God had spoke to us through our child. For the previous few months we had not yet decided wither to adopt or have our fourth child biologically. The night before we had prayed together and left it that we would be waiting to hear from God and be in agreement before we did anything. I was so humbled by Dominic’s innocent heart and eyes that had never seen poverty, pain and an injustice that motivated him to change it. We were the solution in his eyes. Such an enormous tragedy that there are 143 million orphans in our world. I feel so small like what canwe do. I had selfishly wanted to be pregnant again and Matt felt that we are so blessed with 2 biological children and Dominic who is no different then our own flesh and blood and that there are so many children in our world with no one to call there own. Matt felt we needed to be faithful with the blessing of family that God has given us and open our heart to adopt again. Matt previously was thinking of adopting from Asia. I had not yet desired a specific place. I had been working through my passion for orphans and my love for being pregnant, nursing the whole experience. Getting up from the couch we knew something had happened in our living room so deep and would forever change us. The next day I got online to see if it was possible to adopt from Africa. I went to the State Dept. Web page to see legitimate agencies and countries. As I looked I began to see the plight of Children in Ethiopia. There are 4 and a half million orphans in Ethiopia due to poverty and illness. They face poor health conditions, food shortages and countless Ethiopians face a constant struggle to survive. Additionally the maternal mortality rate is very high in Ethiopia: 1 in 14 women will die in childbirth. I researched and found an agency with a very good reputation. Children’s Home Society of Minnesota. Matt and I prayed and agreed that in August 2006 when Remington turns 2 we will start the process. This is a complete step of faith. We very much felt like God has brought this to our awareness and we would act on it believing him to bring it to pass.
I Thessalonians 5:24 “Faithful is He who called you and HE will bring it to pass.

August 20, 2006
Remington our darling is now 2! We had decided that when he turned 2 we would start the process of adopting from Ethiopia. I have had the initial paper work done for months. We were really hoping to have saved more. Things have been tight. We do have enough saved to start the process. $150. Matt said to me today “I have no idea where the provision will come from, I feel like we are jumping off a diving board and believing God will catch us as we trust him. He said I can’t see how it is feasible, but I can see that little one in our family. I trust God will do it. Send the application.”
So we have been walking by faith. We have been praying lots, getting verse, giving and Matt has been working another job. God is so faithful to us every step of the way in our walk with Him. He is the God of more then enough. Matt always reminds me of how good God has been to us. He has blessed our lives in such amazing ways and he is faithful to us and this will be another testimony to His glory.

Friday September 22, 2006
Dominic has such a tender heart about the adoption. He woke me up early in the morning and said “Mommy when is our baby from Opia coming home- I just loven that baby.”
A few nights ago as we were praying Dominic told me, “Mommy lets pray for that baby in Opia’s mommy that she be brave.” My heart was so amazed he feels such love, sensitivity and empathy. It understands far more then I thought. How does he know I am not just always the mommy? His heart and way amazes me…

Tuesday October 17th, 2006
We had out Home Study with Diana today. I was rushing around doing last minute things. I was starting to feel bombarded with thought. We don’t have enough money to pay for the Home Study. I quickly thanked you Lord for the favor we found with Lutheran Social Services that they are charging us $1,000 instead of $1,800. God that is You alone. Thank you! I was done picking up when I walked into the living room and saw one of my three helpers had pulled books off the shelf. I started picking them up and I was so amazed to see the devotion by Joyce Meyers I have not see in so long. God has spoken to me several times through this book. I opened it to Oct. 17 and tears ran down my checks as I read the verse on the top of the page. The verse I wrote down for this entire process the day I mailed our initial paper work:
And my God shall liberally supply your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
The devotion ended with the words I have been saying back to you for months Lord “ He is the God of more then enough.”
My heart was so filled with peace. Thanks for the Word Lord just the moment I needed to hear it.
Our Home Study went really well. The house felt so cozy and peaceful. It was a snowy day and the view was beautiful. Diana Tolsted who I did my internship with at LSS came. I really like her. The kids were so sweet; they played so nicely with their toys in the family room. Coming once in a while to show us their new dress up styles as they played. We sat at the table and visited. I made cookies, we had grapes, cheese and crackers also. As we sipped our tea we shared our hearts and the needed info for the home study. Matthew was very talkative which blessed me. This is a true passion in his heart. He threw me for a loop when Diana asked about the recommendation for the child placed in our family. She said “you were thinking a little girl right?”
Matt said “yes, I love little girls, Cecilia is the joy of my life, but I love little boys so much and our boys are so fun, so could you just put down we want 2! One of each, a brother and sister” We will see if we can with our kids so young we have to check with Children’s Home.


Monday November 2006
Cecilia is so precious she is always talking about what to name the baby- her sister. On tonight we while we were praying at bed time we all shared what we want to pray about. I asked for the kids to pray with us that Jesus would provide the money we need for our baby from Ethiopia to come home.
Cecilia prayed so sweetly “Jesus its OK I am going to give all the money in my piggy bank, before I was going to give most, but now if I give all we have just enough to bring home my baby sister from Opia”

Remington is such a baby himself I don’t think he fully understands where Ethiopia is or that our baby is coming home from there.
The other day he got into some stuff I asked him where he got it from and he proudly said “Opia” with a smile.


Tuesday November 28, 2006
I am trusting in Jesus and believing God to bring our baby home. This morning I received the last of our dossier information. This is the final work that can be done only after our Home Study was approved. I had already submitted the majority but had about 10 more documents to get notarized. As I looked through the paper work I was filled with fear and as I read that we had to submit $7100 with our paper work in order for our paper work to go to Ethiopia and be put on the official list. It covers our child’s care, medical, all the process for our paper work to go through the court, and for our stay while in Ethiopia. We also have a $4,000 agency fee that is for the work Children’s Home does to get us through the process. I thought the $4,000 was due first then the $7,100, so I was overwhelmed. I began to cry and call out to you God. I got out my verses for this adoption and began to pray. I said God I will continue to seek you and all I have to give is my faith. I said to my mom when she called that this is about God’s grace that is why we adopt. It is for Him, it because of Him, it is His heart, His idea from the
Please strengthen my faith.
As I was praying Remington came to me and needed his diaper changed, so I took him upstairs I said “God you speak to me through worship music. I will put on a worship CD. I then felt God tell me to put in the children lullaby CD that was Cecilia’s. We have not listened to it in such a long time, but I found it with the CD’s on the changing table and put it on, I felt song 2. I changed Remi and continued to feel so desperate to hear from you Lord.
It was such a beautiful song. I want to sing this to our baby the day she is placed in our arms. The song made me cry. It was truly from You for us…
He Gave Me You – by Sierra
He knows the hairs upon our heads
Gave the moon its face
Most of all I praise Him for HIS GRACE
He gave me you- He gave me you
Opened up the heavens Angels brought you through
He gave me you- He gave me you
A MARICLE is what HIS LOVE will do
He gave me you
The songs talks about how God opened heaven angels brought her through. This is what I believe will truly happen Jesus. You are opening the heavens of your blessings to make a way for this baby to come to her family. Not just monetarily. But Lord I believe you to care for our child and her mother, those who care for her. I pray she will be in shadow of your wing. I pray you choose our baby, care for her, keep her, let your Holy Spirit hover over her. Let the angels surround her. Protect her, love her, and nurture her. She is Yours Lord, you will entrust us with her, and may we be faithful.
When it said “he gave the moon its face” I was amazed. Matthew’s favorite baby name is Kamara. It means moon in Swahili I thought God you are forming that babies face even now in her mothers womb. I was so blessed by Gods blessing to us in this song. ‘
Matt and I listened to the song over and over on our way home from Cody after going to visit his dad who just had knee surgery.

November 29th 2006
I am doing a Bible Study Believing God with such dear women sisters in Christ that I have just grown to love so much. We have done several Beth More Studies together. Each one had been so rich and good. They have been so wonderful to me and I love their hearts and perspectives on life. It has been so refreshing to my spirit to have fellowship with them.
My dear sisters prayed with me and it was so powerful! They are believing God with me and I felt so strengthened by the faith of my sisters. God I know you did something today while we were praying. I could feel your presence.
Today at my Bible study my sweet friend Sarah told me today that she is sending letters to her family about our adoption. I was so humbled. I was at a loss for words. I wanted to cry but I kept composed. I just could not believe it. I was so in awe that she even had the idea, the heart to do it. I am so thankful. I feel so overwhelmed by her kindness. I pray you return the blessing to her and the ones she loves Jesus.
God I trust you and I ask you to work your perfect will in our adoption. I know you are on the move.
Today we got our long awaited Home Study back from Lutheran Social Services. It had been a little of a frustration for me how long we had to wait. It was simply a update to our first with for Colombia. I know your timing is perfect and I am seeing even with the finances that your timing is now for things to be moving. I got the HS in the mail box on my way home from Bible Study in Absorkee. We needed to get it authenticated at the Secretary of States Office in Helena. This was the last document we were waiting for our dossier. Matt said he would drive it to Roscoe now in hopes of getting it off today still. Matt and I both are hoping to mail everything on Monday. I called the office in Helena and was so blessed by my conversation with a women named Della. She told me that she remembered when we had come to her office 3 years ago with a cute little baby and was amazed we were going to Colombia and getting another baby. She see’s hundreds of families and people needing documents authenticated and she remember us. We had a nice little visit and I told her we were sending documents today hoping they would get to her by Friday but really hoped even tomorrow. I asked her how long the process takes and she said 10-14 days. She asked me to mail a picture of Dominic so I did. I gave her my # and my email and got hers in case she had any questions. It was a blessed contact and we are praying for your favor Lord. When Matty came home he told me that the post man said he would drive our letter to Red Lodge on his way home from work because he had already sent the mail out for the day. What a blessing of favor

Thursday November 30, 2006
Today I was so blessed I received an email from Della at the Secretary of States Office. She said what a darling Dominic was and that she put his picture up on the bulletin board. She said she had received my documents that morning and had already authenticated them and they had already been mailed back to me. I was in awe once again!!! Tlak about your favor being better then life! God you blessed us. Our desire to send everything Monday will happen- we believe!

December 2, 2006
Lord it is 3:00 AM and all I can do is lay in my bed in awe of YOU!!! You are the ONE TRUE God and there is NO other. God I feel your love for our baby and for us. Thank you Jesus for hearing our prayers and bringing such hope and faith to our hearts. God it is all about your GLORY!!! I love you Father. Thank you for your love. We knew you would catch us as we dove into the unknown of this and you have been a faithful loving God. Lord how do I praise you enough? “The Lord has done great things for us and we are glad.” God I delight in your presence. You are in this room even now with me. I feel you, I love you Lord. You are my God. God what you are doing in our lives is huge. It is Your heart for Your children being manifested. It is not just about our adoption, but about your heart for orphans. God if your people will say “yes” Lord you come rushing in to bring it to completion. God how much you love the fatherless. Thank you God for putting the lonely in families. I pray more children will be adopted in the years to come then ever. Reveal your glory Lord. Let your Kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. God I feel your love it is so strong. Thank you… God I want to care about what you care about. God thank you for helping me overcome my fear and unbelief that I may know sit here with you and experience the joy of obedience. God trusting you is so sure. You are the sure thing in my life! God you are a loving merciful God and you execute justice for the orphan. I see it is not us, God it is that we have touched a cord in your heart. Oh Lord how deeply you love the children. You are a
father to the fatherless. Thank you God. May I sing of your love forever. God I want a glimpse of your heart. I am yours God. My life its your. God I just surrender to your will in my life. God thank you for Matthew my husband. God you have put part of your heart in him. He passionately cares for children, bit his heart goes further her has a righteous holy disgust for the suffering of children in our world. Thank you for his tenacity to believe you and never waiver in unbelief that you would provide. God you heard my cries to strengthen my faith. You did. You have given me a godly man who loves you with all of his pure heart Jesus- thank you, thank you. God it is his passion to do this that has truly spurred me on and then your sweet spirit met me in such a powerful way. God all I can say is I love you and your favor is better then life. Jesus life is not about our comfort zones or logic it is a walk of faith. You say that to live without faith is sin. God I see why. Your ways Lord are righteous and good. God my life is short on this earth may I be faithful with the treasures you have given me, may my spirit be compliant and teachable to you. God I want to walk you with. I think of my daring Dominic as we drove home from Red Lodge a few weeks ago who said “I want to walk with God.” Lord, hear his heart. May all of our children walk with you and may the nations know the glory of you Lord by their love and obedience to you. God I want a family passionate about you. Thank you Jesus for leading me from the time I was a child. I will have no greater joy in my life then to hear my children walk in truth.
God I know you have a destiny for each one our children. Thank you Lord for trusting me with them, may I be faithful. On they are so tender so precious. Keep them pure and simple before you. Keep them from the evils of this world. May they walk with Jesus. May your favor rest upon them ALL of their days. Thank you for the destiny for each one. May your will be done. Draw them close to you.

OK Lord how do I even write what all took place yesterday. In the morning my dear mom called and told me her and my dad are going to send $1,000 for our adoption. Thank you God. They are so loving and supportive. They have shared each step of the way and been so full of joy and encouragement. They already love you little baby. I talked with sweet Sally this morning. She is in Cody with Joe. I just shared with her the God story of what has been taking place. She is so wonderful. She has a beautiful loving heart. She is so encouraging and already loves you baby girl. She is praying for our baby. I have such a treasure in her for my mother in law. I was taken back and had a hard time finding words when she so willing said just send it in Monday. She said we can pay them back. At that point we had the $3000 from the bonus, $1000 from saving, and $1000 from my parents. So we still needed $2,100. She told us she would write a check Sunday for what is left. God how do you bless us in such loving ways. Thank you for our families who support us with prayer, love and sacrifice their own to do this with us. Bless them in return Lord. May we bless them Lord. When Matt came home I shared this with him. He was so thankful, he said God is not done. I think my parents will not have to write a check for that much. He wants to have a little debt as possible because of the burden to pay it back with other bills we are obligated to. I agreed and continued to just praise you and believe it is still Friday we have until Monday. The kids are so happy. I have been sharing each step with them. I tell them the stories and even little Remi praise the Lord with me. Cecilia is so thoughtful and tender. She is very tuned into what is taking place. I love her heart. She gets the biggest smile when we talk about answered prayer. She said today “God bringing our baby from Opia home!”
Tonight I went to the Christmas stroll to work in the MOPS(mothers of preschoolers) booth. My heart was so in awe of you as I looked at the falling snow. I saw your grace and mercy falling on us. Thank you Lord. I have cried more in the last week because of your presence. It is not just the financial provision. It is like a tidal wave of love. I have believed that as I seek you first and righteousness all these things would be added onto us. Day after day you have heard me say this as I clean, play drive, do anything. I have believed you. At times I got fearful but your Word kept me going. It is like after a drought and waiting trusting, hoping, and believing your showering your love and blessing. Thank you Lord. We continually pray "Lord may we be the anwser to a mothers prayer in Ethiopia."


December 2, 2006
This morning at breakfast the kids and I were talking about all God has done. Dominic shouted out “God is awesome”
Cecilia said “God made our baby, and he made us and he takes care of us.”
They are so excited about what God is doing. So am I. Thank you Lord for hearing thier childlike prayers. You are good.

Cecilia told me that she wanted to get her piggy bank out and get her money for our baby. It was so sweet. She took out all her money and lined it all up. She actually had a lot of money in her piggy bank from Great Grandma’s for B-day, Valentines etc. She choose to give $12.73 of her money. I tried to put a few $1 back and she said no momma that is what I am giving to Jesus for my sister. Dominic and Remi also went through their piggy banks. They each gave so sweetly. We talked about when we get money there are 3 things to do with it. We give to Jesus first, then save, then we can spend a little. They all picked up on that so quickly. We made little construction paper purses and wallets. We made 2 each. One for the baby’s money to go to the bank, and one to buy a sucker at the Christmas Stoll in Red Lodge. They were so excited. Cecilia wanted to write on her purse “To my baby sister from Opia, I love you. I am your big sister, Jesus is bringing you home.”
Dominic wrote “To baby in Opia, I am your big brother, I love you, you will come home soon and I will teach you to play soccer and you can make a goal.”
Remi, colored a sweet picture and taped his little wallet up good. He was singing and saying “Opia baby” while he did it with a sweei little voice.
Thank you Lord. I love you forever.

Monday December 4th, 2006 THE MIRACULOUS DAY
Matt and I had said this would be the day we would mail our whole dossier to Children’s Home Society of Minnesota. Amy came to watch the kids while I went to the ranch to make 3 copies of everything and do a last few documents. Matt was working with Meade at the ranch pulling horse shoes. I prayed on the way home in awe of how You Lord have shown yourself so loving and faithful. As I drove I felt a touch of “oh so much still has to happen before we mail this.” Mom was mailing my check book that we needed to even write the check we did not yet have all the funds for. I had left it in her purse over Thanksgiving. She had mailed it on Saturday so it was very iffy that it would arrive today. I played the song “He Gave Me You” again and just praised you and thanked you that it was all about your grace and nothing I could do to make it happen. Right as I was rounding the corner by Johnson’s I felt such peace that you were with me and working out everything for our little one to come home. It is you alone that can provide. I feel such rest and trust when I focus on you Lord.
When I got home I had to make lunch for everyone. I was way to excited to eat so while everyone eat I went to separate my documents and look them over one more time. I was looking at the fee schedule and thought OK I need to put our checks with this.
In the mail was every penny we needed!!! God is amazing! Matthew's bonus that was 6 months late came. It was truly a miracle!!!! Gifts from friends that just happend to come that day. We were so overwhelmed and all 5 praising God!!! We sent our dossier in on December 4th. We are officially waiting.